Read and Laugh.....Calvin

· This clean, wholesome television! Ughh, it makes me sick.
· It's not the pace of life I mind. It's the sudden stop at the end.
· So the secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they're already met?
· Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?
· I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me. You can relate this little story when the reporters ask how I went bad.
· When I grow up, I want to be an inventor. First I will invent a time machine. Then I'll come back to yesterday and take myself to tomorrow and skip this dumb assignment
· I should be doing my homework now. But the way I see it, playing in the snow is a lot more important. Out here I'm learning skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life - procrastinating and rationalizing
· If something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway
· Given that, sooner or later, we're all going to die, what's the point of learning about integers
· If you do a job badly enough, sometimes you don't get asked to do it again
· It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.
· I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification
· I don't know which is worse, that everyone has his price, or that the price is always so low.
· In my opinion, television validates existence.
· What's the point of trying if you can't be a winner?
· Why should I have to WORK for everything?! It's like saying I don't deserve.